If You Could Choose Just One Thing to Be an Expert at, What Would It Be?

In a recent post of hers, my sister and business partner Melinda Batchelor blogged about the idea of putting 10,000 hours of deliberate practice into something in order to become an expert at it. She talked about how this concept has really thrown her for a loop and caused her to re-evaluate how she is living her life and running her business. (It's a great blog post. I recommend that you take a minute to read it.) I have had many of the same revolutionary thoughts about my life based on this concept. In fact, it has really turned my world upside down for these last few days, and I've realized some things about myself. I want to be great at everything, not just one thing. I've compared it to a computer game I used to play years ago called Dungeon Siege. In the game, you can develop your character's skills in either magic or in a particular weapon. Choosing to focus on just one would allow you to become really powerful in that area but stay perpetually weak in the other area you didn't focus on. As a result, I could not bring myself to let go of either area. I would just keep trying to develop both areas, and I did--to some extent. But in the end I would have mediocre power in both skills, and my character would be nothing special in terms of attack. My weaker attacks would make it harder to kill the monsters, which made it more likely that I would die.

What I'm finding is that I do the same thing in my real life. Take my business, for instance. I am currently playing the role of Chi Running instructor and health coach and energy coach, with plans to add even more to my list of titles down the road. And the thing is I love doing all of these things. But I'm finally being forced to acknowledge what has been in the back of my mind for at least the past year: I can't be an expert at all of these things. So I find myself at a crossroads. Do I continue on, attempting to continue strong in all disciplines, or do I let go of some things so that I can become a master in one area? I believe the right path for me is to let go, but I'm having a really hard time with it, as if I'm having to let go of a planned-for child. And as a result, I can't decide what to focus on. There are so many reasons to choose or not choose each area (not to mention the other areas of interest that I haven't even mentioned), but I want to choose the one that I am most passionate about, regardless of what seems like the "logical" choice. I want to choose the one that will leave me with the fewest regrets at the end of my life. And so far I can't bring myself to do that because it seems so final, like the end of the others' lives, or at least the end of my dreams of becoming a world-renowned expert in all of those areas.

So here is my plan. I am going to take my list of finalists and choose just one to focus on for a whole month. At the end of that month, I will evaluate how dedicated I was to studying, if I had to force myself to sit down and study it or did I look forward to it, and whether I eventually got bored with it and wanted to do something else vs. being excited enough about what I was learning to want to continue. This experiment might not give me the straight answer I'm hoping for, but it will at least be a start. And thankfully, I don't have to decide tomorrow.

Through this whole emotional upheaval, I did realize right away that there is one thing that I am sure I want to become an expert at, and that is being a wife and mother. I care more about that than any of those other things. I spend so much time interacting with my family, though, that I feel certain that I can improve a lot in this area if I just make that time I'm with them deliberate--study the scriptures or a pertinent book for a short time each day and then spend the time I'm with my kids working on what I've been studying about. Whatever other path I choose will always be secondary to that. And that plan, at least, fills me with joy.

Health Coaching Session 3

Last weekend my family and I went on a camping trip, and unfortunately my body thinks vacation = binge time. As a result, I ate a ton of junk food and arrived at my latest health coaching session weighing the same as I did when I first started the health coaching sessions: 154. Thankfully I didn't feel too discouraged due to my success since the last session: I was able to cut dairy completely out of my diet for a week, and I saw big changes in how I felt both physically and emotionally. Some things that I attributed to wheat sensitivity, like the bloated feeling I often have, was significantly improved just from cutting out the dairy. And my mood improved tremendously as well. It was enough of a difference that I have been able to stay away from ice cream and pizza completely, which were my two biggest weaknesses when it comes to dairy, and I have even avoided the little things like buttering my toast. So that change, combined with the food journal I kept to track how I felt, proved to be very successful.

After today's session, I am now moving forward and working on "crowding out" wheat products. My very wise health coach (aka yours truly) talked about the benefits of crowding out the bad by adding in more of the good to your diet rather than trying to go cold turkey with something, especially when it is a staple in your diet. So rather than telling myself I'm not allowed to eat any wheat, my assignment this week is to create some meal plans that don't include wheat (which I did in my health coaching session) and then buy the ingredients for those things as well as some good snack options that also don't contain wheat. That way I'll have plenty of good stuff around to eat before pulling out a wheat product.

One of my assignments from last session was to meditate for at least 5 minutes daily. I did a pretty good job with that for the first few days, but then it all went out the window when I started getting ready for the camping trip. So I'm going to add that back in this week as well. I also am going to work on being present and on telling myself that I love me every single day. All of these should help eliminate the need for emotional eating.

I am really optimistic about how things are going. My eating has improved tremendously since starting my health coaching, as has my mood. I feel like I'm in a good place right now.

Health Coaching - Session 2

Yesterday I had my second health coaching session with myself. It was a few days later than scheduled because of how crazy our last week of summer break was, but I actually think I will be better able to focus on my goals for the next 1 1/2 weeks now that 3 of my 4 kids are in school all day.

I do feel like I've been doing better these past two weeks. My eating hasn't changed considerably, but I haven't had as many cravings nor have I felt the need to binge (until today). And I ended up losing about a pound just from focusing on strengthening my relationship with God through scripture study and taking time for myself every day. And while I'm still really struggling to feel happy, I have been doing better mood-wise than I was before my health coaching session. So I'm seeing progress! Hooray! I have to remind myself when I am not seeing the results I was hoping for that I'm just taking this one step at a time. Even a little progress is still progress.

In yesterday's session, I decided that I need to make my marriage more of a priority. As I was thinking about all of the other things that I've been wanting to change or focus on about my life and particularly my diet, it occurred to me that maybe what's at the root of all of the issues I've been having lately is my struggling marriage. So for now I'm going to focus on showing my husband more gratitude, on sending him at least one message every day thanking him for something or letting him know something I appreciate about him.

I am also going to make it a priority to do a relaxation meditation for at least 5 minutes every day. I have been so stressed lately, and I can feel it in my neck and shoulders. I need to teach my body how to relax rather than holding all of that tension in. So I'm going to spend a few minutes focusing on relaxing each muscle in my body on a daily basis.

I also have decided to take a week off of dairy, which accounts for the binging I did at lunchtime today. I was afraid of feeling deprived by not being able to eat pizza and ice cream, so I went and bought a pizza for lunch today, along with some dessert bread sticks. I then proceeded to eat 3 or 4 pieces of pizza followed by several bread sticks. I will say, however, that I stopped much sooner than I would have in the past. So I still consider it progress. Also, the reason I'm going to cut out dairy is because my stomach has been bothering me so much lately, and I'm inclined to think that it's due at least in part to my dairy consumption. So I have high hopes that I will feel so much better once I've removed the dairy from my diet that I won't have any desire for it anymore.

Finally I'm going to keep a food journal for a while, just writing down what I ate, at what time, and how I felt throughout the day. I'm hoping it will be very eye-opening.

There are other things I "talked" about during my health coaching session, such as drinking more water. I would like to do better with that, but for now the emphasis is on my marriage and on meditation. Even the dairy and the food journal are going to take a back burner to those if need be.

My next health coaching session is only 1 1/2 weeks away. I'm excited to see what these next few days bring.

Todays stats:

body fat: (I actually forgot to check this today)

weight: 152.6 lbs

P. S. I pulled my goals sheet out of my binder and hung it in my closet where I can read it every day. What's the point of setting goals if I can't even remember what they are?

Health Coaching - Session 1

Wow! What a powerful experience this is turning out to be! I am really working to delve into what I as a client need most instead of trying to follow some generic outline that tells me what to talk about and what to recommend. What I really need most right now is help decreasing my stress level and learning to enjoy life. So this session's recommendations for me are to make time for my top two priorities (God and myself) every single day and to increase fruit and vegetable intake since I know good nutrition is a natural mood enhancer. I didn't do any specifics for this one because I really think the focus needs to be on relieving stress.

I had also created goals for this session, but after analyzing my needs and desires, I completely rewrote them to reflect my priorities. 

I am so excited about doing this! I don't want to have to wait a whole two weeks to have another session! I know that sounds silly since the session is just with myself, but this experience is giving me the opportunity to step back and look at my life from an outside viewpoint, and it's already helped me gain so much insight into myself. I foresee great things resulting from this. I'm already seeing improvements in myself, and I am feeling more confident in my abilities as a health coach as well.

Health Coaching 101

Does this health coaching thing really work? Can people really be helped by meeting with someone twice a month for 6 months to talk about their health? Well, I'm going to find out. While in theory I believe this is a good program, I can't in all honesty say that I have a testimony of it because I've never tried it for myself. But now I find myself about 40 pounds heavier than I was a year ago and not exactly looking the part of a health coach. So now is the perfect opportunity for me to test this theory. I'm going to be my own health coach for the next 6 months as I work to get into shape again. I'm going to give myself recommendations and then "meet" with myself every 2 weeks to review how I'm doing with those recommendations. I'm going to see if this really works.

As I go through this process, I'm going to really examine what works and what doesn't work in my program and start tweaking it where necessary. I feel confident that by the end of the 6 months I will not only be a happier, healthier individual but also I will have a solid health coaching plan that I believe in and that I know will be effective for those who come to me for help.

Today I am going to do a health history consultation on myself. I will report back as I go through this process, recognizing that there will likely be backslides now and then and the occasional binge here and there. But that's life. And that's going to happen. And I'm still going to be successful, even with my imperfections.

Todays stats:

body fat: 38.3%

weight: 153.8 lbs

I actually don't care so much about weight, but since % body fat is more difficult to measure on a regular basis (at least with any accuracy), I will include my weight to help gauge progress.