If You Could Choose Just One Thing to Be an Expert at, What Would It Be?

In a recent post of hers, my sister and business partner Melinda Batchelor blogged about the idea of putting 10,000 hours of deliberate practice into something in order to become an expert at it. She talked about how this concept has really thrown her for a loop and caused her to re-evaluate how she is living her life and running her business. (It's a great blog post. I recommend that you take a minute to read it.) I have had many of the same revolutionary thoughts about my life based on this concept. In fact, it has really turned my world upside down for these last few days, and I've realized some things about myself. I want to be great at everything, not just one thing. I've compared it to a computer game I used to play years ago called Dungeon Siege. In the game, you can develop your character's skills in either magic or in a particular weapon. Choosing to focus on just one would allow you to become really powerful in that area but stay perpetually weak in the other area you didn't focus on. As a result, I could not bring myself to let go of either area. I would just keep trying to develop both areas, and I did--to some extent. But in the end I would have mediocre power in both skills, and my character would be nothing special in terms of attack. My weaker attacks would make it harder to kill the monsters, which made it more likely that I would die.

What I'm finding is that I do the same thing in my real life. Take my business, for instance. I am currently playing the role of Chi Running instructor and health coach and energy coach, with plans to add even more to my list of titles down the road. And the thing is I love doing all of these things. But I'm finally being forced to acknowledge what has been in the back of my mind for at least the past year: I can't be an expert at all of these things. So I find myself at a crossroads. Do I continue on, attempting to continue strong in all disciplines, or do I let go of some things so that I can become a master in one area? I believe the right path for me is to let go, but I'm having a really hard time with it, as if I'm having to let go of a planned-for child. And as a result, I can't decide what to focus on. There are so many reasons to choose or not choose each area (not to mention the other areas of interest that I haven't even mentioned), but I want to choose the one that I am most passionate about, regardless of what seems like the "logical" choice. I want to choose the one that will leave me with the fewest regrets at the end of my life. And so far I can't bring myself to do that because it seems so final, like the end of the others' lives, or at least the end of my dreams of becoming a world-renowned expert in all of those areas.

So here is my plan. I am going to take my list of finalists and choose just one to focus on for a whole month. At the end of that month, I will evaluate how dedicated I was to studying, if I had to force myself to sit down and study it or did I look forward to it, and whether I eventually got bored with it and wanted to do something else vs. being excited enough about what I was learning to want to continue. This experiment might not give me the straight answer I'm hoping for, but it will at least be a start. And thankfully, I don't have to decide tomorrow.

Through this whole emotional upheaval, I did realize right away that there is one thing that I am sure I want to become an expert at, and that is being a wife and mother. I care more about that than any of those other things. I spend so much time interacting with my family, though, that I feel certain that I can improve a lot in this area if I just make that time I'm with them deliberate--study the scriptures or a pertinent book for a short time each day and then spend the time I'm with my kids working on what I've been studying about. Whatever other path I choose will always be secondary to that. And that plan, at least, fills me with joy.

Sleep--Is It Really a Big Deal?

My entire life I have had people telling me that sleep is essential for good health. Some have even cited sleep as one of the key factors to optimal health. However, as a former sleep-deprived college student and a current mother of four young children (no point in putting "sleep-deprived" as an adjective here since it is synonymous with "mother of young children"), I can attest to the fact that I have survived on less-than-ideal amounts of sleep for literally years now, and I still consider myself to be in excellent health. Despite that, there is this nagging voice in the back of my head asking me just how optimal my health is and what my quality of life has been like during those years. It's true that I have survived the last 10 years of motherhood on very little sleep. But is that all I'm aiming for? To survive?

I am starting to see a pattern develop with my mood swings. While there are undoubtedly other factors involved, I have definitely noticed that my worst moods are directly correlated with less sleep. In other words, the more sleep-deprived I am, the more depressed I am. And moody. And impatient. And pessimistic. And mean. And angry. Those are exactly the things I am actively working to change or to overcome in myself. But for some reason I have not looked my sleep patterns squarely in the eye as a possible culprit. Why? Maybe because I feel like I don't have enough time as it is. Maybe because I use late nights to escape when things are getting too hard or too busy in my life. Maybe because sleep is the easiest thing to cut out when there's a lot to do. But then again, maybe these issues wouldn't be issues if I were getting enough sleep.

It's time to stop avoiding the issue, though. I'm sick of merely "surviving." I want to actually start living. I want to have the energy and the patience and the light-heartedness that will allow me to actually enjoy my life and enjoy being with and playing with my children. Will sleep give me those things? I don't know. But I'm determined to find out. For the next month I am setting a goal to get to bed by 9:00 every night. That will be tough for me. I know that will mean leaving the dishes undone or that load of laundry unfolded sometimes. (Who am I kidding? It's left unfolded most of the time anyway.) I know it will mean thinking out of the box when it comes to date nights with my husband or girls nights with my friends. And I know not to expect 100%. But if I can do it even 90% of the time, I have a strong suspicion that my life will change completely. And frankly, as I write this from a totally sleep-deprived state, I am excited to see what my

new life looks like.

Plateaus

Getting fit is hard work! Anybody who tries to tell you that it's easy is either lying through their teeth or has

never truly tried to do it before. Or they're selling you some diet pill that down the road will turn out to cause cancer or heart damage or both. The first two months of the year I worked my tail off, both in the exercise arena as well as the nutrition arena. I was pushing myself hard and being very vigilant about what I ate. And it was hard. It's hard to decide every day that you're going to get up and work out even if your 4-year-old was in your room at 1 in the morning asking for water and then you couldn't get back to sleep for the next three hours. It's hard to pass up that brownie 9 times out of 10 (don't want to put myself into deprivation mode after all) and take the time to make a healthy meal as often as possible even though you know your kids are going to whine about it--again. So it's not terribly surprising to me that I've slacked off somewhat these past 2 weeks. My eating has really gone downhill--lots of treats, not enough vegetables. My exercise has been mediocre at best--I'm still doing it (most days) but I'm not putting quite as much effort into it as I was before. And I'm "escaping" more often, which means getting to bed way too late and waking up too tired to exercise or even to look forward to the new day.

And my weight has stopped dropping. Shocker, right? I lost a total of 11 pounds in the first two months of the year--11!--and now I am fluctuating between the same 2 or 3 pounds, unable to break through the 140 barrier into the 130s. I have officially hit a plateau. However, instead of whining about how I can't seem to lose weight, I am choosing to look at things as they really are. I have been a big slacker these 2 weeks, and it's absolutely no surprise to me that my weight has not continued to drop. It's disappointing, perhaps, that I can't lose weight without working; but not surprising.

I've been thinking today about what a plateau really is. If I were hiking up a steep mountain and part-way up I came to a plateau, I'm sure I would be happy and relieved to be there. The ground is flat, after all, which means less work and a chance to rest a little before I continue the upward climb. However, if the ground stays flat forever, I will never reach my destination. One way or another, the only way to get to the peak is to go up. And as nice of a reprieve as the plateaus are, the more there are, the longer it will take me to reach the summit. Seeing it from this perspective, I am recognizing that plateaus are actually an important part of my progress toward my goal. I do need a chance to rest a little after working so hard. But I don't want to stay here too long because that goal is still calling.

This little analogy is helping me to not beat myself up about these lazy last 2 weeks. Perhaps they are just what I needed to give me time to rest and find renewed motivation and dedication to my goal. And I do feel motivated again. I feel excited to keep moving forward, more excited than I have in weeks, actually. Hopefully the next plateau will not come for at least another 2 months. And when it does come (which I recognize now will be a good thing), I will take that time to relax and renew so that I can be even stronger once I start heading uphill again. Forward, march!